I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
