just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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