Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
