I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
