I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize