Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
