Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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