i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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