You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's even glitter on my cock...
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