hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
