Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
