i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
