How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
