Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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