I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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