i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
