I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
