Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
