Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
