im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I faked an abortion last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
