my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
