ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
