Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
