I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
