Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
