theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
be right there i have to get my cape
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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