Fuck appropriateness.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
