i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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