I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
