Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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