I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
