none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
