all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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