my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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