Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think my tv is drunk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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