We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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