At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've blown a few things in my day
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
