you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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