Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
