is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
