I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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