I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You made out with two different species that night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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