Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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