At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
