Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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