I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
