I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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