glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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