Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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