Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
