WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm at about main and main street
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
