do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
