you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
