Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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