So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize