i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
