Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
