How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
