that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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