used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
