If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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